If someone asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself? It’s okay if it took you some time. If you weren’t the first or second or even the third thing you named, this does not mean that you don’t love yourself, only that you haven’t been loving yourself enough. Self-neglect happens more often and more craftily than we think. It’s often hard to recognize it until we reach that place. Yeah, you all know what place that I’m talking about. Sometimes, you don’t even have to reach this place. There have been times when I felt like I couldn’t even hear my own voice amongst my thoughts, because I let stress consume my mind and steal my center for happiness. My point is, whatever space that you are in at this very moment, it is never too early or late for self-improvement. Every aspect of your happiness can be improved by practicing self-love. Today, I would like to impart on you all what I have done to make sure I do not neglect myself, whether I am at my prime or at my lowest of low. This blog post will be shared in two parts as there are so many great, introspective things that I believe you can do to love yourself more. My first five pieces of advice will help you explore your mind, body, and spirit so that you can be the best version of yourself at any point in your life. 1) Learn how to love being alone Alone time. Just me, myself, and I. Human interaction is important, but we often forget to make time for solitude. Sometimes we even avoid it. Why do we avoid it? Because no one wants to be lonely. Ahhh there it is. We yearn love from each other so much that we tend to forget to yearn love for ourselves. Now, I am a person who loves me some alone time. Ask anyone. However, from the day I moved back onto campus, I felt that I hadn’t gotten more than a moment to myself and I felt myself slowly losing control. I had been on super-extrovert mode, but, more recently, God put me in a situation that forced me to spend time away from people. For the first time in my life, alone time honestly scared me to death. Why did it scare me? Not so much because I didn’t want to be lonely, but more so because I had gotten too comfortable. I didn’t want to deal with the thoughts and worries that I had been unconsciously pushing away. But what alone time makes you realize is that such isolation brings healing. God knew it would make me uncomfortable and weary, but I can feel my mind, soul, and spirit healing with every moment I spend alone or spend talking to Him. My friends, it is time to get rid of our fear of loneliness and solitude. Start making time for you and only you, and make it a habit. Turn your phone off, light a candle, and do whatever you need to do to escape from the world. We give too much of ourselves to the universe and the people within it, and we began to mistreat ourselves. Reclaim YOUR SPACE. Be selfish with your time. Fall in love with this form of healing. When you learn to love being alone, you become more aware. You start asking yourself hard questions and you began to treat yourself better. Alone time brings clarity, peace, and energy, and it is the first thing you should do to re-establish self-love. 2) Be your #1 fan Hey, you. Yeah, shorty with the gold hoops. You are pretty dope. Yes, I was looking in the mirror and talking to myself when I said that. Listen, ain’t nobody gonna love you like you love “you”. Did you know that no one has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself? Not only that, you won’t even let anyone abuse you more than you abuse yourself, but you’ll still tolerate a level of abuse that you have ironically drawn out for the world. Think about it. My point is the more you love yourself, the less internal and external abuse you will experience. You must accept yourself for who you are and acknowledge that self-love. Smile and wink at yourself in the mirror. Congratulate yourself for all that you have accomplished. Be mindful of how hard you are on yourself. We are our biggest critics. So, instead turn into your biggest fan.
3) Write a love letter…to you. Receiving a love letter is probably one of the top ten best feelings of all time. It’s so personable and thoughtful, and it’s probably the most intimate way to a capture person’s heart. Who said we couldn’t be romantic with ourselves? So, try to write yourself a love letter! Write down what makes you feel loved and tell yourself what you want to hear. The beauty of a love letter is that you can read it over and over again and relive all of those positive emotions. So, give yourself butterflies. Write yourself a love letter that would put the whole movie The Notebook to shame. 4) Love Yourself More than Anyone else. Have you ever been so in love with a person that you forget that anything else exists? This may sound romantic and even sound like “goals”, but, in actuality, it is the worst type of relationship that you want to have. If you forget that everything exists or matters, eventually everything will include YOURSELF, and that is when there is trouble in paradise. My friends, don’t give all your love to a person (or people) and then disregard leaving love for yourself. Not only are you not sending enough love to yourself, but you are also not sending enough love to the Big Man upstairs—and He actually deserves all the love that you have to offer (He’ll return it tenfold, unlike the worldly beings you are possibly neglecting yourself for). No person deserves to have all of your love, and they will unconsciously abuse it if you give it to them. Redirect your love to yourself and God, and watch how people respond. I bet you they will begin to love you in the way you deserve to be loved. When you stop exhausting your love and start saving it for yourself and God, you will see a drastic change in your relationships and interactions with people. You won’t have leaches disguised as people in your life. You won’t fall to pieces when a person doesn’t love you as much as you love them. You will interact with the world in a healthier way, and this will help prevent you from possibly losing sight of yourself while in a relationship. 5) Drink more water (with lemon) It is scientifically proven that water gives us life. Up to 60% of our bodies are made up of water, aka we need to give our bodies what they need to survive. Physical health is just as important as mental health when it comes to self-love. When I try to drink two liters of water a day, my skin glows, my mind can think more clearly, and I honestly just feel good. Also, you will notice that the more water you drink, the less toxicity your body craves. Eventually, you aren’t going to want to drink as much soda or eat that whole can of Pringles. I’m not a nutritionist or a doctor, and I am sure none of this is new information to most of you. However, it is a routine that we often forget or possibly put on the back burner. I simply want to remind you to make this choice a lifestyle, and start working on your self-love from the inside out. Oh, and throw a lemon in there, too, if you’re feeling a lil fancy (or if you want to alkaline your body, that’s pretty worth it too) :-)
3 Comments
|
Olivia McPhaulWriter. Christ enthusiast. Zealot of love. Offering my truth and sharing my imperfect journey in womanhood. Archives
May 2019
Categories |