Bubble Gum
By: Olivia A. McPhaul
Bubble Gum
“Ms. Gracie told me that I needed to be sweeter to you”. If I had a dollar for every time I heard her say that I would really be a very wealthy yet perpetually annoyed little boy. Ever since I found that pink jacket in my cubby, spotted that she had the exact Tamogochi that I asked for when I turned six, and tragically watched her take the last Strawberry Kiwi Capri-Sun, I knew that, without a doubt, I hated Lucie Price. Yes, you heard me correctly. PRICE. P-R-I-C-E. The insolence I already endured was enough, but the fact that she had to audacity to steal my last name, too? Yep, that took the cake.
It’s okay, though, because she hated me, too. She made fun of my afro and called me a little girl. She told Sammie Davis I had cooties, and stole my animal crackers when I was using the bathroom. Ha. The jokes on you, Lucie Fake-Price, I stole your Starbursts while you were napping.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I said 100,000, she said 100,000,000. How many bones have you broken? I said two and she said four. How many dogs do you have? I said one and one hampster, she said two and three cats. The girl was impossible. Aggravating. Absolutely horrible. There were 28 days left in kindergarten before the summer. I couldn’t fall asleep during naptime and I was one too many “Ms. Gracie told me I needed to be sweeter to you” over my limit. So, yes, I had to take matters into my own hands.
I stuffed one my brother’s packs of gum into the side of my tennis shoes. During show-and-tell, I chewed two sticks. During recess, I chewed five sticks. By the time Ms. Gracie walked us to lunchtime, the back of my jaws ached with every chew and the roof of my mouth was bruised.
10, 9, 8….she’s putting away her crayons. 7, 6, 5, 4....just enough time to situate the gum in her chair beside me. 3, 2, 1….she sat down and I knew at that moment that my aching jaws were worth it.
It was so worth it. For about 5 minutes. It was worth it until the gum got stuck to her tights and was plastered like a web on the back of her dress. It was worth it until she tried to pull it off and it got stuck in her fingers and then her thick, brown hair. It was worth it until she cried and I suddenly felt like crying, too. I could hear her crying in the bathroom as Ms. Gracie tried to get the gum her locks.
It wasn’t so worth it anymore.
As I cried on the same beat as Lucie Fake-Price, I pulled out the rest of my animal crackers and put them on her notebook. I dug up the Starbursts that I stole from her, even the pink ones, and laid them next to her colored pencils. The last thing I did was write a note and I slid it underneath the starbursts. It said, “Ms. Gracie told me that I needed to be sweeter to you” and this time I meant it.
For some reason, 25 years later, as I recall this story, I feel like crying again. It might be because your thick brown hair was what I loved most about you. It is what I twist around my fingers every night when I am falling asleep. Or maybe it’s because of that dress you wore that day. It was white and had an ivory lace trim, and it reminds me of the dress you wore the day I married you. Ever since the first day of kindergarten I knew, without a doubt, that I loved you Lucie Price. I was just too much of a little boy to realize it.
I’m sorry I made you cry 28 days before summer, and I am sorry I made you cry last night. I went to the store just now and got some animal crackers. I got you a pack of starbursts too. The pink ones. Please forgive me, Lucie Price. Ms. Gracie told me that I needed to be sweeter to you.
It’s okay, though, because she hated me, too. She made fun of my afro and called me a little girl. She told Sammie Davis I had cooties, and stole my animal crackers when I was using the bathroom. Ha. The jokes on you, Lucie Fake-Price, I stole your Starbursts while you were napping.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I said 100,000, she said 100,000,000. How many bones have you broken? I said two and she said four. How many dogs do you have? I said one and one hampster, she said two and three cats. The girl was impossible. Aggravating. Absolutely horrible. There were 28 days left in kindergarten before the summer. I couldn’t fall asleep during naptime and I was one too many “Ms. Gracie told me I needed to be sweeter to you” over my limit. So, yes, I had to take matters into my own hands.
I stuffed one my brother’s packs of gum into the side of my tennis shoes. During show-and-tell, I chewed two sticks. During recess, I chewed five sticks. By the time Ms. Gracie walked us to lunchtime, the back of my jaws ached with every chew and the roof of my mouth was bruised.
10, 9, 8….she’s putting away her crayons. 7, 6, 5, 4....just enough time to situate the gum in her chair beside me. 3, 2, 1….she sat down and I knew at that moment that my aching jaws were worth it.
It was so worth it. For about 5 minutes. It was worth it until the gum got stuck to her tights and was plastered like a web on the back of her dress. It was worth it until she tried to pull it off and it got stuck in her fingers and then her thick, brown hair. It was worth it until she cried and I suddenly felt like crying, too. I could hear her crying in the bathroom as Ms. Gracie tried to get the gum her locks.
It wasn’t so worth it anymore.
As I cried on the same beat as Lucie Fake-Price, I pulled out the rest of my animal crackers and put them on her notebook. I dug up the Starbursts that I stole from her, even the pink ones, and laid them next to her colored pencils. The last thing I did was write a note and I slid it underneath the starbursts. It said, “Ms. Gracie told me that I needed to be sweeter to you” and this time I meant it.
For some reason, 25 years later, as I recall this story, I feel like crying again. It might be because your thick brown hair was what I loved most about you. It is what I twist around my fingers every night when I am falling asleep. Or maybe it’s because of that dress you wore that day. It was white and had an ivory lace trim, and it reminds me of the dress you wore the day I married you. Ever since the first day of kindergarten I knew, without a doubt, that I loved you Lucie Price. I was just too much of a little boy to realize it.
I’m sorry I made you cry 28 days before summer, and I am sorry I made you cry last night. I went to the store just now and got some animal crackers. I got you a pack of starbursts too. The pink ones. Please forgive me, Lucie Price. Ms. Gracie told me that I needed to be sweeter to you.