I know, I know. It has been 2390438 weeks since I have shared anything on my blog. I am not proud of this, and, trust me, I am sadder about it than anyone. Let’s just say 2018, so far, has been…. A journey. Whew. I think the theme of the past few months has been, “When you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” I fully believe that the Big Man is sipping His tea with His feet kicked up right about now. One day I might write a blog post about all the ways you can make God laugh, but for now I want to return to all first by sharing my highs + lows, beginnings + ends, epiphanies + clutter of my year so far. My purpose for Truthfully Ours was for me to share my truths in a way that would be helpful, enlightening, and encouraging for other’s doing life just like I am. What I didn’t think about however, is how incredibly hard it is to consistently communicate my truths when life isn’t feeling like peaches and cream or finding four leaf clovers. As I dove right into the 20 somethings, I also dove right into a more intimate relationship with God. As I focused more closely on being intimate with Him, it felt like God quickly revealed to me His dreams for me, present and future. To name a few, God told me:
Yikes. I’d like to add that very few of these things were on my To-Do list for “What to do when you’re 20!”. However, I distinctively remember when God placed that last one on my heart. The other things that God had willed for me were quite easy to do: I lived about seven years of my teenage years in relationships, so I was (very) excited to be actually single for once. I knew that I had discovered a passion for technology and coding, so it eventually made sense to take a leap of faith and switch my major. I realized that my phone was attached at my hip, so when I asked God to remove that desire from me, I didn’t think twice about letting things like Snapchat go. But God telling me it was time for me to write a book? That was one thing I was not prepared to experience. I was filled with the Holy Spirit the night God placed that on my heart. I remember, so clearly, how alive my spirit felt and how, suddenly, I just knew what I needed to do. What was ultimately so thrilling was that He also told me exactly what I needed to write about and how I needed to write it. I was sitting there in such awe of my Lord and Savior, for He had always placed the desire in my heart to write, but that night He gave me a reason as to why. Amazing, isn’t He? So, I know what you’re thinking right now. “How’s that book coming along, Liv?” And this is where my story begins as to why I stopped writing for almost 6 months. That night I was on a spiritual cloud nine. I felt inspired. Invigorated. Consecrated. My thoughts and dreams were spilling over in my mind and I honestly wanted to start writing the book right then and there. But I didn’t. I continued my regularly scheduled routine (bad idea), I barely told anyone what had happened, and I soon lost the spiritual high that I was experiencing. Before I knew it, the devil slid in and started planting seeds in my head. He whispered things to me when I woke up and when I went to sleep. “Liv, nobody is going to want to read that book.” “The idea isn’t even all that good.” “You are way too busy, maybe you shouldn’t do it.” “Watch, somebody is going to take your idea and write it before you can.” “You really think you are going to become a best-selling author? Like, seriously?” Add about 1,000 other seeds of negativity to this list and multiply it by 5. I think the most damaging thing that I did for myself was believe the devil’s lies. Not only did Satan come in like a flood and try to distract me from writing a book, but he also made me afraid to write anything at all. For 6 months. Writing this now brings me to tears. I feel like it is important that I am fully vulnerable and honest in sharing with you all my truth today, because it would be a lot easier to lie, ignore, and continue with my writing like nothing has happened. But I cannot do that. Almost one year ago today, God called me to share my truths. His truths. And I plan on sharing these truths with rawness and authenticity. I know I am experiencing something that many (whether they know it or not) are experiencing right now. The devil will throw a million and one things at you to distract God’s calling on your life. He will distract you from your dreams + your career + your goals + your marriage + most largely, your walk with Christ. He will distort your reality and thoughts in whatever way possible in order to derail you from living a full life. It wasn’t until recently that I realized this: God can place a million and one things in your heart and steer you in the perfect direction, but you are in control of what happens after that. It is so important that we realize the jurisdiction that we have over our lives. Yes, God is sovereign and in control, but the devil can easily take control, too, if you allow him. So, as humans, we have to stop living our lives on auto pilot. Stop assuming that God is in control of everything so you don’t have to do anything. This is one of the largest and most dangerous assumptions preached in Christianity. Don't make this mistake. This is what I should’ve done that night when God spoke to me. Instead of continuing my regularly schedule routine, I should’ve been disruptive. I should have prioritized God’s calling over my life, even if it would’ve required me to let go of some of my prior commitments. Instead of telling few what had occurred, I should’ve told multitudes. That was a time for me to seek encouragement and support; to proclaim the goodness of the Lord in the way He spoke to me! Lastly, instead of believing the devil’s lies, I should have believed my Father’s truths. I’ve been reading Revelation and it reminded me that the devil uses every form of evil and deception in order to have dominion over our lives and ultimately our fates. Looking back, six months ago, I took a sharp left and went on a detour that God had not intended for me to take. I allowed fear + doubts + stress + MY FLESH to take control of my destiny and I lost sight of my dream. God’s dream. God is a dreamer. He is able to do far more abundantly than we can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Wow. Even my wildest dreams…God can top that. Even my biggest prayers…God says they aren’t big enough. Glory be to Him, such a large, mysterious, and gracious presence He is. So, I encourage you all to doubt your doubts, and believe your beliefs. Nothing is too large for our Father and nothing is too big for you to handle, either. Everything happens for a reason. Take control over your destiny and have the courage to ask God what he wants to see for you. As I conclude my first blog post in six months, I am filled with a great amount of joy and serenity. It feels good to be sharing my truth with you all again. It feels good to be doing what God has called me to do. I will be continuing, rather more consistently, to share my truths with you all. The good and the bad. The pretty and the ugly. Oh, and best believe you will see my name on the cover of a book one day soon. It’s already in the works. & I’ll be a best-selling author while I’m at it. Truthfully,
Olivia
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I just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude. It is always important to express your gratitude during both your highs and your lows, and it has been placed on my heart that I should do so now. Truthfully Ours has been active for about a month now, and it has already turned into something bigger than I could’ve ever imagined. Everywhere I turn, I am getting such love and praise and encouragement… it feels so good, y'all. It is an awesome feeling to be doing what God has guided me to do, and an even better feeling to be honoring His name with every word I write. If you have chosen to join me on this journey, I am so appreciative of each and every one of you. You all inspire me to keep going and keep building this platform. My heart is full.
At first, I thought that God wanted me to do this for other people, and that He only revealed truths to me in order for me to share them with the world. I was right and wrong. God wanted to use me as his tool, but he also wanted me to use this platform for my growth, as well. In just this short amount of time, I have realized that Truthfully Ours is so much bigger than myself. What has been placed on my heart is that the truth is mine + yours + ours… but at the end of the day, the truth belongs to Jesus. I am not perfect. I am struggling to manifest the truth just like you all. With each piece of advice I share, I find myself saying “Dang, I should really practice what I am preaching right now.” That is because I am only a mere servant of the Lord who has been given the opportunity to be used for His glory. So, this process is a lot more complex than I thought it would be. Realigning your life with the truth is a lot easier said than done. Especially, when the truth seems scary. However, God has revealed to me, through His love and you all’s continuous support, that I can do this. This is what I was meant to do. This journey is making me a better person, and I can’t wait to see where it will take the rest of you all along the way. Thank you so much for joining me on this truth-seeking voyage. Truthfully mine. Truthfully yours. Truthfully ours. Truthfully, Liv P.S. be on the lookout for a new advice post in the next couple of days :) |
Olivia McPhaulWriter. Christ enthusiast. Zealot of love. Offering my truth and sharing my imperfect journey in womanhood. ArchivesCategories |